Once I set my heart to it, it's not so hard for me give...of my time, my money, my advice and even more easier for me to give is love and respect!!!
The one thing that is a stumbling block for me, the one thing that I have great difficulty with is being a good receiver...
a pastor at our church once said: don't stop someone's blessing by being a bad receiver...because if someone offersa you something and you refuse to receive it, you are denying them the chance for God to bless them for being a good giver.
I am really bad at receiving, whether it be compliments, help, money, advice, love, respect...the list is endless!!!
I just do not know how to receive without paying someone back in one way or the other.
a good receiver is someone who says "thank you", someone who knows how to ask for help, someone who knows that sometimes someone else knows more about something and trusts in the advice they give, someone who is not afraid to receive love and compassion, someone who can freely run to another's arms for a shoulder to cry on. Someone who understands that the responsibility they have to help someone in need is the same responsibility that other people have to help them when they are in need.
The willingness of the people around me to help me in my time of need has really humbled me to a point of tears and now I realise that I need to learn to receive in order to be sure that the blessings of God fall upon them for being a blessing to me.
So the next time someone offers me anything, I will be more reluctant to say: No, thank you!
and I will choose to rather say: Yes, please!!!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
the inner circle
Having a diverse range of friends and acquaintances is very important to ensure that you remain an open-minded and interesting individual but it is even more important that you limit the people that are in your inner circle...
These are the people who rub off on you:
The people you spend the majority of your time with, the people whose opinions you trust, the people with whom you exchange views on life.
These are the people whose english accents you start picking up, the people whose facial expressions you start unconsciously imitating, the people whose favourite words and phrases you start playing around with.
These are the people who ultimately have an influence on you...whether you realise it, or admit or not.
These people are your "environment" and you hve to be sure that the environment is conducive to the achievement of your goals.
What's the use of spending time with people who smoke if you want to stop smoking?
If you are suffering from depression you are not doing yourself a favour by hanging out with people that are just downright negative.
If you are looking to doing something with your life, there's no use hanging out with people that "chill" for a living.
Your inner circle plays a very important role in your attainment of success (in whatever way you define it) and therefore it's important that we learn to rather love some people from a distance if they are not rubbing off the right things on you.
But most importantly, remember that you are a prt of someone else's "inner circle" therefore take a look at the man or woman in the mirror and be honest with yourself... If you were someone else, would you elect to have yourself as part of your "inner circle" or are you just one to be loved from a distance.
The friends you have are your choice, and they will definitely influence the choices you make...CHOOSE right!!!
These are the people who rub off on you:
The people you spend the majority of your time with, the people whose opinions you trust, the people with whom you exchange views on life.
These are the people whose english accents you start picking up, the people whose facial expressions you start unconsciously imitating, the people whose favourite words and phrases you start playing around with.
These are the people who ultimately have an influence on you...whether you realise it, or admit or not.
These people are your "environment" and you hve to be sure that the environment is conducive to the achievement of your goals.
What's the use of spending time with people who smoke if you want to stop smoking?
If you are suffering from depression you are not doing yourself a favour by hanging out with people that are just downright negative.
If you are looking to doing something with your life, there's no use hanging out with people that "chill" for a living.
Your inner circle plays a very important role in your attainment of success (in whatever way you define it) and therefore it's important that we learn to rather love some people from a distance if they are not rubbing off the right things on you.
But most importantly, remember that you are a prt of someone else's "inner circle" therefore take a look at the man or woman in the mirror and be honest with yourself... If you were someone else, would you elect to have yourself as part of your "inner circle" or are you just one to be loved from a distance.
The friends you have are your choice, and they will definitely influence the choices you make...CHOOSE right!!!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
the pursuit of purpose
I read a book once (forgot the title and the author)...this book explained that the "purpose" is the place where personal ambitions collide with God's plan for our lives...and I read another one that explained that God's plan for our lives is always about other people - never ever about us!!!
It all makes sense...that God (our creator and the author of our lives) would make sure that our genetical make-up, and our emotional capacity is in-line with what He pre-destined us to do in this life/world.
But this doesn't mean that it's easy to figure out what it is we are here for...and this is where faith comes in.
Faith involves believing that the path we are walking will lead us to the "purpose" or that the path is the purpose!!!
Faith means trusting that every decision we make - good or bad - will contribute to getting us there... That along the road of God-discovery, we will find self as well.
Right now, I'm on that road... The cross-roads!!!
Where I have to make critical decisions according to my faith (which is a gift from God in itself)... I have to trust that God will see that, in my heart,in my heart, deep within all I want is to be like Jesus on the cross after He fulfilled His purpose when He said: IT IS FINISHED!!!
I know I will probably not get it right the first million times, and I'll fall just to get back up again - only to fall even harder...
But I fail and pass and fail some more...
I will get it wrong, step on toes, and make enemies...all in the pursuit of the desires that God has given me.
But I will do it all the FAITH that the road will lead me to my purpose on earth...that God's plans and my plans will cross paths at the end!!!
It all makes sense...that God (our creator and the author of our lives) would make sure that our genetical make-up, and our emotional capacity is in-line with what He pre-destined us to do in this life/world.
But this doesn't mean that it's easy to figure out what it is we are here for...and this is where faith comes in.
Faith involves believing that the path we are walking will lead us to the "purpose" or that the path is the purpose!!!
Faith means trusting that every decision we make - good or bad - will contribute to getting us there... That along the road of God-discovery, we will find self as well.
Right now, I'm on that road... The cross-roads!!!
Where I have to make critical decisions according to my faith (which is a gift from God in itself)... I have to trust that God will see that, in my heart,in my heart, deep within all I want is to be like Jesus on the cross after He fulfilled His purpose when He said: IT IS FINISHED!!!
I know I will probably not get it right the first million times, and I'll fall just to get back up again - only to fall even harder...
But I fail and pass and fail some more...
I will get it wrong, step on toes, and make enemies...all in the pursuit of the desires that God has given me.
But I will do it all the FAITH that the road will lead me to my purpose on earth...that God's plans and my plans will cross paths at the end!!!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Word of mouth!!!
Although the law of attraction is documented in "the secret", it is not that much of a secret that we are what we say!!!
The words that we speak over our lives are a reflection of what we keep buried within us, and are therefore an indication of the direction in which we steer our lives.
What we say over and over is what we attract into our lives...it is also called the concept of "we declare it, God decrees it!!!"
I am truly convinced that what separates the successful, and the not-so-successful&everything-is-going-wrong-in-their-lives people is their attitude; that is clearly displayed in the words of their mouths...
I believe that if anyone wants to change the direction of their lives, they should change what they say about their lives, themselves, their environment and the people around them.
It is all in the power of the tounge, and sadly some people use this power to destroy (themselves and others) instead of using it to draw success and prosperity to all!!!
So the next time you feel like you are at your wits' end, and just can't take it anymore, remember that what you speak over the situation will determine whether you will rise out of that situation or whether you will stay stuck in it - not only physically but mentally.
Speak life back into your life, speak your dreams into being and speak yourself into a good attitude if you still need to develop one.
Tread carefully when it comes to your word of mouth, for you indeed reap what you sow!!!
The words that we speak over our lives are a reflection of what we keep buried within us, and are therefore an indication of the direction in which we steer our lives.
What we say over and over is what we attract into our lives...it is also called the concept of "we declare it, God decrees it!!!"
I am truly convinced that what separates the successful, and the not-so-successful&everything-is-going-wrong-in-their-lives people is their attitude; that is clearly displayed in the words of their mouths...
I believe that if anyone wants to change the direction of their lives, they should change what they say about their lives, themselves, their environment and the people around them.
It is all in the power of the tounge, and sadly some people use this power to destroy (themselves and others) instead of using it to draw success and prosperity to all!!!
So the next time you feel like you are at your wits' end, and just can't take it anymore, remember that what you speak over the situation will determine whether you will rise out of that situation or whether you will stay stuck in it - not only physically but mentally.
Speak life back into your life, speak your dreams into being and speak yourself into a good attitude if you still need to develop one.
Tread carefully when it comes to your word of mouth, for you indeed reap what you sow!!!
Monday, February 7, 2011
inner beauty...inner greatness!!!
Though beauty may be seen on the outside, it is a reflection of that which is found on the inside of everyone of us...
Though words come out of our mouths, and are picked up by our ears
They are simply an echo of the inner-man, crying out and expressed by the external
Although we may put an effort to correct what people see, to potray a certain image of ourselves to the naked eye...
Although we may train ourselves to be eloquent in speech, to be graceful in conduct and to be perfect and flawless to those who are watching
Who we are will always come from deep within
Our front will fail us, one way or the other
Because it all starts from within!!!
Our time and resources would be more profitably spent in developing ourselves from inside,
In building up our self-confidence so that we hold our heads equally high on a good and on a bad hair day
So that regardless of our lack of expression, and inspite of our clumsiness, our greatness may still shine through!!!
it all begins inside...and if we get this right, then we won't have to say it to show it...we won't have to ask to know we have it...we won't have to parade it to be acknowledged
If we get it right, we simply know...We are beautiful!!! We are great!!! We are kings and priests, queens and priestesses!!!
But it all starts inside...it all starts with you and I taking ownership of it!!!
Though words come out of our mouths, and are picked up by our ears
They are simply an echo of the inner-man, crying out and expressed by the external
Although we may put an effort to correct what people see, to potray a certain image of ourselves to the naked eye...
Although we may train ourselves to be eloquent in speech, to be graceful in conduct and to be perfect and flawless to those who are watching
Who we are will always come from deep within
Our front will fail us, one way or the other
Because it all starts from within!!!
Our time and resources would be more profitably spent in developing ourselves from inside,
In building up our self-confidence so that we hold our heads equally high on a good and on a bad hair day
So that regardless of our lack of expression, and inspite of our clumsiness, our greatness may still shine through!!!
it all begins inside...and if we get this right, then we won't have to say it to show it...we won't have to ask to know we have it...we won't have to parade it to be acknowledged
If we get it right, we simply know...We are beautiful!!! We are great!!! We are kings and priests, queens and priestesses!!!
But it all starts inside...it all starts with you and I taking ownership of it!!!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
letting go...
It took me this long to be able to put these feelings on paper, but here goes and I hope it helps someone to let go...
When we said goodbye, it was as if my clothes had been ripped off from my body, like a bandage had been ripped off my bleeding heart, I felt like my nakedness was being exposed to the world...and all I could do was stand there and let the stares of passers-by amputate me.
For weeks, all I could do was cry. I contently let the tears flow, I held my knees against my chest as I lay on the floor, I allowed myself to wallow in heartache...I cried like a child!!!
I gave up on my studies, I forgot to eat and all I wanted was to be alone.
It hurt to know that all the time spent, the fights we had and the effort we put to make things work was all in vain. It hurt to think of how much of me I had given in our relationship, of the fact that I could not give any longer.
What hurt even more was knowing that there was nothing either of us could do to fix things, that our time was truly up.
But its true that time heals, although only partially...because as days turned into weeks, and weeks into months I found that I cried less and less, that I managed to fit more smiles into my daily routine...but this would only be temporary because all I needed was to see him, or to hear about him to go back to lying on the floor in tears again...
But this is all in the past now...nowadays laughter is my companion and most of my tears are brought on by joy...
Today, I can safely say: I have let him go!!!
When you lose something or someone, its not easy to move on because it is even harder to let go.
The thing about letting go is you have to go through the whole process so you can heal fully and completely.
My process was painful, and it was long and it went something like:
1. Being angry at him and blaming him for everything that was going wrong (2 months)
2. Crying because I am angry at him(1 month)
3. Accepting that no one is to blame, that our time is just up and "the break-up", and tears and tears and tears!!! (2 months)
4. Telling myself that I'm over him and am ready to move on, then going back to square one because I'm really not ready to move on and starting all over again (3 months)
5. Letting go...
After you go through the process you get to a point of letting go, which in itself is a process.
At the letting go point I realised that he was meant to be in my life for a certain season of my life only, and that the season was over and I needed to let him go in peace. I also realised that my time in his life was also up and there would be no use fighting for something that had expired, so to speak.
I also realised that all the effort we had both put into our relationship had not been in vain, as we had both grown from the experience and as he had influenced my life in a lot of positive ways.
Furthermore, I learned that although I had given a lot in our relationship, he had also given equally much or more and I could never get what I have given back instead I had been giving the capacity - by God - to love more and to give myself more in my next relationship!!! That although I felt I could not give any longer, because of the experience, I was in a position to give even more!!!
When we said goodbye, it was as if my clothes had been ripped off from my body, like a bandage had been ripped off my bleeding heart, I felt like my nakedness was being exposed to the world...and all I could do was stand there and let the stares of passers-by amputate me.
For weeks, all I could do was cry. I contently let the tears flow, I held my knees against my chest as I lay on the floor, I allowed myself to wallow in heartache...I cried like a child!!!
I gave up on my studies, I forgot to eat and all I wanted was to be alone.
It hurt to know that all the time spent, the fights we had and the effort we put to make things work was all in vain. It hurt to think of how much of me I had given in our relationship, of the fact that I could not give any longer.
What hurt even more was knowing that there was nothing either of us could do to fix things, that our time was truly up.
But its true that time heals, although only partially...because as days turned into weeks, and weeks into months I found that I cried less and less, that I managed to fit more smiles into my daily routine...but this would only be temporary because all I needed was to see him, or to hear about him to go back to lying on the floor in tears again...
But this is all in the past now...nowadays laughter is my companion and most of my tears are brought on by joy...
Today, I can safely say: I have let him go!!!
When you lose something or someone, its not easy to move on because it is even harder to let go.
The thing about letting go is you have to go through the whole process so you can heal fully and completely.
My process was painful, and it was long and it went something like:
1. Being angry at him and blaming him for everything that was going wrong (2 months)
2. Crying because I am angry at him(1 month)
3. Accepting that no one is to blame, that our time is just up and "the break-up", and tears and tears and tears!!! (2 months)
4. Telling myself that I'm over him and am ready to move on, then going back to square one because I'm really not ready to move on and starting all over again (3 months)
5. Letting go...
After you go through the process you get to a point of letting go, which in itself is a process.
At the letting go point I realised that he was meant to be in my life for a certain season of my life only, and that the season was over and I needed to let him go in peace. I also realised that my time in his life was also up and there would be no use fighting for something that had expired, so to speak.
I also realised that all the effort we had both put into our relationship had not been in vain, as we had both grown from the experience and as he had influenced my life in a lot of positive ways.
Furthermore, I learned that although I had given a lot in our relationship, he had also given equally much or more and I could never get what I have given back instead I had been giving the capacity - by God - to love more and to give myself more in my next relationship!!! That although I felt I could not give any longer, because of the experience, I was in a position to give even more!!!
Constantly Changing!!!
It is said that the only thing constant in life is change, but of course this doesn't make it the easiest thing to deal with.
Right now I'm right in the middle of change: a new job, a new place, new friends and a whole new approach to my studies...nothing is familiar at all except the fact that I'm still living in the same town.
Although all these changes are exciting and are a dream come true, it is a very uncomfortable place to be. Firstly because this is not where I thought I would be in 2011...I hadn't planned to be doing long-distance learning and I had thought I'd be out of bloem by now, and secondly because I don't have much of a support structure where I am...my family is far away, and all my friends are also out on their own journeys trying to manage their own different changes.
So what does one do in this situation??? Is it really practical to curl up and cry all day like I feel like doing half the time, or to spend hours on the phone with family and friends so I can feel supported?
Not practical at all.
I have found that the best way to deal with my change is to be flexible, to have a different approach or game-plan, if you will.
I mean, my goals remain the same...I still want to qualify as a CA, and I still want to settle down in Cape Town...what has changed is not where I want to go but how I'm going to get there.
Furthermore, change brings with it new opportunities to build relationships, to travel another leg of my life-long plan, and to grow as an individual...therefore, I need to embrace this change, and to welcome it in by making room for new family and friends - and therefore a new support structure that is strong enough to support me on this part of my life and to also make bigger dreams and to have a better vision.
It is true: change is constant, and although it might be scary and uncomfortable, change is really what we need for personal growth and to be able to deal with an ever-changing world.
So embrace change, be flexible enough to accomodate change and make change work for you!!!
Right now I'm right in the middle of change: a new job, a new place, new friends and a whole new approach to my studies...nothing is familiar at all except the fact that I'm still living in the same town.
Although all these changes are exciting and are a dream come true, it is a very uncomfortable place to be. Firstly because this is not where I thought I would be in 2011...I hadn't planned to be doing long-distance learning and I had thought I'd be out of bloem by now, and secondly because I don't have much of a support structure where I am...my family is far away, and all my friends are also out on their own journeys trying to manage their own different changes.
So what does one do in this situation??? Is it really practical to curl up and cry all day like I feel like doing half the time, or to spend hours on the phone with family and friends so I can feel supported?
Not practical at all.
I have found that the best way to deal with my change is to be flexible, to have a different approach or game-plan, if you will.
I mean, my goals remain the same...I still want to qualify as a CA, and I still want to settle down in Cape Town...what has changed is not where I want to go but how I'm going to get there.
Furthermore, change brings with it new opportunities to build relationships, to travel another leg of my life-long plan, and to grow as an individual...therefore, I need to embrace this change, and to welcome it in by making room for new family and friends - and therefore a new support structure that is strong enough to support me on this part of my life and to also make bigger dreams and to have a better vision.
It is true: change is constant, and although it might be scary and uncomfortable, change is really what we need for personal growth and to be able to deal with an ever-changing world.
So embrace change, be flexible enough to accomodate change and make change work for you!!!
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