Sunday, February 5, 2012

True Friendship

The subject of love cannot be explored without also exploring the subject of friendship; and this is what I found myself doing in the past two weeks.

Ever since I learned that "who you are is a reflection of the people you surround yourself with", I have been very careful of who I let into my life, although it's not so easy because some people show up into our lives unexpected, and before we know it become a very important part of our lives, even before we can evaluate whether they are the kind of people we want to be associated with or whether the friendship is built on a good foundation.

I really believe that the foundation on which friendship is built is love. I'm not talking about the emotional type of love - the one-day-I-love-you-and-one-day-I-don't kind, but love that comes from the depths of our hearts, the love that is inherent in us - creatures of a loving God.

In assessing whether my friendships are based on love, I have used 1 Corinthians 13 as a measuring tool.
Some of the characteristics of love that are mentioned in that piece of scripture about love are:

  • love is long suffering
  • love is kind
  • love does not envy
  • love does not parade itself and is not puffed up (pride)
  • love is not provoked and does not seek its own
  • Love bears all things, hopes all things and endures all things
  • Love never fails
There can never be friendship without love. Any friendship built without love will never stand the test of time, and will fall at the first sign of challenges and hardships - which will always be there where there is any sort of relationship.

So every time I have a friend, I continuously assess whether I am still willing to put in the time and effort to love them as 1 Cor 13 suggests, and whether they still put in the effort to love me the same way (because friendship is a two-way thing - never a one-way thing).

A lot of people claim to have friends that they are not willing to love (which includes respect, care and consideration). People will usually just look to see what they can out of a friendship than what they have to offer to a friend and this has led to many so-called friendships that result in friends giving each other wrong advice, betraying each other's trust and leading each other astray - which is a manipulation of the true meaning of what friendship is.

Jesus Christ is the perfect example of what a true friend is...in John 15:13,14 he says:
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down his life for his friends


So, my challenge to you, dear reader regarding friendship is this: are you willing to lay down your life for the person whom you call your friend, are you willing to love them as Jesus commands us to love one another???

This is the meaning of true friendship!!!

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