I read a book once (forgot the title and the author)...this book explained that the "purpose" is the place where personal ambitions collide with God's plan for our lives...and I read another one that explained that God's plan for our lives is always about other people - never ever about us!!!
It all makes sense...that God (our creator and the author of our lives) would make sure that our genetical make-up, and our emotional capacity is in-line with what He pre-destined us to do in this life/world.
But this doesn't mean that it's easy to figure out what it is we are here for...and this is where faith comes in.
Faith involves believing that the path we are walking will lead us to the "purpose" or that the path is the purpose!!!
Faith means trusting that every decision we make - good or bad - will contribute to getting us there... That along the road of God-discovery, we will find self as well.
Right now, I'm on that road... The cross-roads!!!
Where I have to make critical decisions according to my faith (which is a gift from God in itself)... I have to trust that God will see that, in my heart,in my heart, deep within all I want is to be like Jesus on the cross after He fulfilled His purpose when He said: IT IS FINISHED!!!
I know I will probably not get it right the first million times, and I'll fall just to get back up again - only to fall even harder...
But I fail and pass and fail some more...
I will get it wrong, step on toes, and make enemies...all in the pursuit of the desires that God has given me.
But I will do it all the FAITH that the road will lead me to my purpose on earth...that God's plans and my plans will cross paths at the end!!!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Word of mouth!!!
Although the law of attraction is documented in "the secret", it is not that much of a secret that we are what we say!!!
The words that we speak over our lives are a reflection of what we keep buried within us, and are therefore an indication of the direction in which we steer our lives.
What we say over and over is what we attract into our lives...it is also called the concept of "we declare it, God decrees it!!!"
I am truly convinced that what separates the successful, and the not-so-successful&everything-is-going-wrong-in-their-lives people is their attitude; that is clearly displayed in the words of their mouths...
I believe that if anyone wants to change the direction of their lives, they should change what they say about their lives, themselves, their environment and the people around them.
It is all in the power of the tounge, and sadly some people use this power to destroy (themselves and others) instead of using it to draw success and prosperity to all!!!
So the next time you feel like you are at your wits' end, and just can't take it anymore, remember that what you speak over the situation will determine whether you will rise out of that situation or whether you will stay stuck in it - not only physically but mentally.
Speak life back into your life, speak your dreams into being and speak yourself into a good attitude if you still need to develop one.
Tread carefully when it comes to your word of mouth, for you indeed reap what you sow!!!
The words that we speak over our lives are a reflection of what we keep buried within us, and are therefore an indication of the direction in which we steer our lives.
What we say over and over is what we attract into our lives...it is also called the concept of "we declare it, God decrees it!!!"
I am truly convinced that what separates the successful, and the not-so-successful&everything-is-going-wrong-in-their-lives people is their attitude; that is clearly displayed in the words of their mouths...
I believe that if anyone wants to change the direction of their lives, they should change what they say about their lives, themselves, their environment and the people around them.
It is all in the power of the tounge, and sadly some people use this power to destroy (themselves and others) instead of using it to draw success and prosperity to all!!!
So the next time you feel like you are at your wits' end, and just can't take it anymore, remember that what you speak over the situation will determine whether you will rise out of that situation or whether you will stay stuck in it - not only physically but mentally.
Speak life back into your life, speak your dreams into being and speak yourself into a good attitude if you still need to develop one.
Tread carefully when it comes to your word of mouth, for you indeed reap what you sow!!!
Monday, February 7, 2011
inner beauty...inner greatness!!!
Though beauty may be seen on the outside, it is a reflection of that which is found on the inside of everyone of us...
Though words come out of our mouths, and are picked up by our ears
They are simply an echo of the inner-man, crying out and expressed by the external
Although we may put an effort to correct what people see, to potray a certain image of ourselves to the naked eye...
Although we may train ourselves to be eloquent in speech, to be graceful in conduct and to be perfect and flawless to those who are watching
Who we are will always come from deep within
Our front will fail us, one way or the other
Because it all starts from within!!!
Our time and resources would be more profitably spent in developing ourselves from inside,
In building up our self-confidence so that we hold our heads equally high on a good and on a bad hair day
So that regardless of our lack of expression, and inspite of our clumsiness, our greatness may still shine through!!!
it all begins inside...and if we get this right, then we won't have to say it to show it...we won't have to ask to know we have it...we won't have to parade it to be acknowledged
If we get it right, we simply know...We are beautiful!!! We are great!!! We are kings and priests, queens and priestesses!!!
But it all starts inside...it all starts with you and I taking ownership of it!!!
Though words come out of our mouths, and are picked up by our ears
They are simply an echo of the inner-man, crying out and expressed by the external
Although we may put an effort to correct what people see, to potray a certain image of ourselves to the naked eye...
Although we may train ourselves to be eloquent in speech, to be graceful in conduct and to be perfect and flawless to those who are watching
Who we are will always come from deep within
Our front will fail us, one way or the other
Because it all starts from within!!!
Our time and resources would be more profitably spent in developing ourselves from inside,
In building up our self-confidence so that we hold our heads equally high on a good and on a bad hair day
So that regardless of our lack of expression, and inspite of our clumsiness, our greatness may still shine through!!!
it all begins inside...and if we get this right, then we won't have to say it to show it...we won't have to ask to know we have it...we won't have to parade it to be acknowledged
If we get it right, we simply know...We are beautiful!!! We are great!!! We are kings and priests, queens and priestesses!!!
But it all starts inside...it all starts with you and I taking ownership of it!!!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
letting go...
It took me this long to be able to put these feelings on paper, but here goes and I hope it helps someone to let go...
When we said goodbye, it was as if my clothes had been ripped off from my body, like a bandage had been ripped off my bleeding heart, I felt like my nakedness was being exposed to the world...and all I could do was stand there and let the stares of passers-by amputate me.
For weeks, all I could do was cry. I contently let the tears flow, I held my knees against my chest as I lay on the floor, I allowed myself to wallow in heartache...I cried like a child!!!
I gave up on my studies, I forgot to eat and all I wanted was to be alone.
It hurt to know that all the time spent, the fights we had and the effort we put to make things work was all in vain. It hurt to think of how much of me I had given in our relationship, of the fact that I could not give any longer.
What hurt even more was knowing that there was nothing either of us could do to fix things, that our time was truly up.
But its true that time heals, although only partially...because as days turned into weeks, and weeks into months I found that I cried less and less, that I managed to fit more smiles into my daily routine...but this would only be temporary because all I needed was to see him, or to hear about him to go back to lying on the floor in tears again...
But this is all in the past now...nowadays laughter is my companion and most of my tears are brought on by joy...
Today, I can safely say: I have let him go!!!
When you lose something or someone, its not easy to move on because it is even harder to let go.
The thing about letting go is you have to go through the whole process so you can heal fully and completely.
My process was painful, and it was long and it went something like:
1. Being angry at him and blaming him for everything that was going wrong (2 months)
2. Crying because I am angry at him(1 month)
3. Accepting that no one is to blame, that our time is just up and "the break-up", and tears and tears and tears!!! (2 months)
4. Telling myself that I'm over him and am ready to move on, then going back to square one because I'm really not ready to move on and starting all over again (3 months)
5. Letting go...
After you go through the process you get to a point of letting go, which in itself is a process.
At the letting go point I realised that he was meant to be in my life for a certain season of my life only, and that the season was over and I needed to let him go in peace. I also realised that my time in his life was also up and there would be no use fighting for something that had expired, so to speak.
I also realised that all the effort we had both put into our relationship had not been in vain, as we had both grown from the experience and as he had influenced my life in a lot of positive ways.
Furthermore, I learned that although I had given a lot in our relationship, he had also given equally much or more and I could never get what I have given back instead I had been giving the capacity - by God - to love more and to give myself more in my next relationship!!! That although I felt I could not give any longer, because of the experience, I was in a position to give even more!!!
When we said goodbye, it was as if my clothes had been ripped off from my body, like a bandage had been ripped off my bleeding heart, I felt like my nakedness was being exposed to the world...and all I could do was stand there and let the stares of passers-by amputate me.
For weeks, all I could do was cry. I contently let the tears flow, I held my knees against my chest as I lay on the floor, I allowed myself to wallow in heartache...I cried like a child!!!
I gave up on my studies, I forgot to eat and all I wanted was to be alone.
It hurt to know that all the time spent, the fights we had and the effort we put to make things work was all in vain. It hurt to think of how much of me I had given in our relationship, of the fact that I could not give any longer.
What hurt even more was knowing that there was nothing either of us could do to fix things, that our time was truly up.
But its true that time heals, although only partially...because as days turned into weeks, and weeks into months I found that I cried less and less, that I managed to fit more smiles into my daily routine...but this would only be temporary because all I needed was to see him, or to hear about him to go back to lying on the floor in tears again...
But this is all in the past now...nowadays laughter is my companion and most of my tears are brought on by joy...
Today, I can safely say: I have let him go!!!
When you lose something or someone, its not easy to move on because it is even harder to let go.
The thing about letting go is you have to go through the whole process so you can heal fully and completely.
My process was painful, and it was long and it went something like:
1. Being angry at him and blaming him for everything that was going wrong (2 months)
2. Crying because I am angry at him(1 month)
3. Accepting that no one is to blame, that our time is just up and "the break-up", and tears and tears and tears!!! (2 months)
4. Telling myself that I'm over him and am ready to move on, then going back to square one because I'm really not ready to move on and starting all over again (3 months)
5. Letting go...
After you go through the process you get to a point of letting go, which in itself is a process.
At the letting go point I realised that he was meant to be in my life for a certain season of my life only, and that the season was over and I needed to let him go in peace. I also realised that my time in his life was also up and there would be no use fighting for something that had expired, so to speak.
I also realised that all the effort we had both put into our relationship had not been in vain, as we had both grown from the experience and as he had influenced my life in a lot of positive ways.
Furthermore, I learned that although I had given a lot in our relationship, he had also given equally much or more and I could never get what I have given back instead I had been giving the capacity - by God - to love more and to give myself more in my next relationship!!! That although I felt I could not give any longer, because of the experience, I was in a position to give even more!!!
Constantly Changing!!!
It is said that the only thing constant in life is change, but of course this doesn't make it the easiest thing to deal with.
Right now I'm right in the middle of change: a new job, a new place, new friends and a whole new approach to my studies...nothing is familiar at all except the fact that I'm still living in the same town.
Although all these changes are exciting and are a dream come true, it is a very uncomfortable place to be. Firstly because this is not where I thought I would be in 2011...I hadn't planned to be doing long-distance learning and I had thought I'd be out of bloem by now, and secondly because I don't have much of a support structure where I am...my family is far away, and all my friends are also out on their own journeys trying to manage their own different changes.
So what does one do in this situation??? Is it really practical to curl up and cry all day like I feel like doing half the time, or to spend hours on the phone with family and friends so I can feel supported?
Not practical at all.
I have found that the best way to deal with my change is to be flexible, to have a different approach or game-plan, if you will.
I mean, my goals remain the same...I still want to qualify as a CA, and I still want to settle down in Cape Town...what has changed is not where I want to go but how I'm going to get there.
Furthermore, change brings with it new opportunities to build relationships, to travel another leg of my life-long plan, and to grow as an individual...therefore, I need to embrace this change, and to welcome it in by making room for new family and friends - and therefore a new support structure that is strong enough to support me on this part of my life and to also make bigger dreams and to have a better vision.
It is true: change is constant, and although it might be scary and uncomfortable, change is really what we need for personal growth and to be able to deal with an ever-changing world.
So embrace change, be flexible enough to accomodate change and make change work for you!!!
Right now I'm right in the middle of change: a new job, a new place, new friends and a whole new approach to my studies...nothing is familiar at all except the fact that I'm still living in the same town.
Although all these changes are exciting and are a dream come true, it is a very uncomfortable place to be. Firstly because this is not where I thought I would be in 2011...I hadn't planned to be doing long-distance learning and I had thought I'd be out of bloem by now, and secondly because I don't have much of a support structure where I am...my family is far away, and all my friends are also out on their own journeys trying to manage their own different changes.
So what does one do in this situation??? Is it really practical to curl up and cry all day like I feel like doing half the time, or to spend hours on the phone with family and friends so I can feel supported?
Not practical at all.
I have found that the best way to deal with my change is to be flexible, to have a different approach or game-plan, if you will.
I mean, my goals remain the same...I still want to qualify as a CA, and I still want to settle down in Cape Town...what has changed is not where I want to go but how I'm going to get there.
Furthermore, change brings with it new opportunities to build relationships, to travel another leg of my life-long plan, and to grow as an individual...therefore, I need to embrace this change, and to welcome it in by making room for new family and friends - and therefore a new support structure that is strong enough to support me on this part of my life and to also make bigger dreams and to have a better vision.
It is true: change is constant, and although it might be scary and uncomfortable, change is really what we need for personal growth and to be able to deal with an ever-changing world.
So embrace change, be flexible enough to accomodate change and make change work for you!!!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
the pink and the red ribbons
This morning as I put on my earrings, I came across two ribbons in my jewelry box. One was red and the other was pink.
I wore the pink one last year in October - Cancer awareness month - and the red one I wore on the 1st of December (World Aids Day).
Every year I make sure that I remember to wear these ribbons, in honor of cancer and Aids victims and in the hope to increase people's awareness thereto.
And every year, at the end of October I put my pink ribbon in a shelf to gather dust until the next October, and at the end of the day on the 1st of December I put my red ribbon away and look forward to the following year to take action again!!!
But today as I looked at the two ribbons they held a different meaning, because last October as I wore the pink ribbon I knew two people that were getting treatment for breast cancer.
And the red ribbon has a different meaning because during the December holidays I witnessed a person very dear to me battle with HIV/Aids.
Today as I looked at the ribbons I realised that I cannot and should not wait for something to become personal before I take action. I realised that I cannot wait to know someone who is abused to be touched by woman and child abuse, I realised that I cannot wait for it to flood all over the world to be touched by global warming, and I realised that I should not wait for someone I know to be a victim to rape or murder before I speak against crime.
So, this year I will not shout for 16 days of activism against women and child abuse.
I will not wear a red ribbon on the first of December nor will I wear a pink one for the whole month of October.
I will not salute our fallen heroes on freedom day.
I will not take a girl-child to work and I will not buy a R5 sticker on casual day.
I will not close my eyes for a moment of silence to remember the victims of xenophobia.
This year is the year that we talk less and do more!!! This is the year to actively bring about change. This is the year that we stop looking the other way.
This year, every single day I will actively make a difference in my world.
I will take action to learn more about and to educate someone on HIV/Aids, I will encourage my friends to get monthly checkups in order to detect cancer early, I will not laugh when my peers make jokes about "makwerekwere" (foreigners) because their pain is my pain, I will pursue to live my life as a role-model for every girl-child (to give them something more than one day at work will), I will stop refering to my friend as "the blind girl" and rather call her by her name.
This year I will earn my right to wear those ribbons!!!
I wore the pink one last year in October - Cancer awareness month - and the red one I wore on the 1st of December (World Aids Day).
Every year I make sure that I remember to wear these ribbons, in honor of cancer and Aids victims and in the hope to increase people's awareness thereto.
And every year, at the end of October I put my pink ribbon in a shelf to gather dust until the next October, and at the end of the day on the 1st of December I put my red ribbon away and look forward to the following year to take action again!!!
But today as I looked at the two ribbons they held a different meaning, because last October as I wore the pink ribbon I knew two people that were getting treatment for breast cancer.
And the red ribbon has a different meaning because during the December holidays I witnessed a person very dear to me battle with HIV/Aids.
Today as I looked at the ribbons I realised that I cannot and should not wait for something to become personal before I take action. I realised that I cannot wait to know someone who is abused to be touched by woman and child abuse, I realised that I cannot wait for it to flood all over the world to be touched by global warming, and I realised that I should not wait for someone I know to be a victim to rape or murder before I speak against crime.
So, this year I will not shout for 16 days of activism against women and child abuse.
I will not wear a red ribbon on the first of December nor will I wear a pink one for the whole month of October.
I will not salute our fallen heroes on freedom day.
I will not take a girl-child to work and I will not buy a R5 sticker on casual day.
I will not close my eyes for a moment of silence to remember the victims of xenophobia.
This year is the year that we talk less and do more!!! This is the year to actively bring about change. This is the year that we stop looking the other way.
This year, every single day I will actively make a difference in my world.
I will take action to learn more about and to educate someone on HIV/Aids, I will encourage my friends to get monthly checkups in order to detect cancer early, I will not laugh when my peers make jokes about "makwerekwere" (foreigners) because their pain is my pain, I will pursue to live my life as a role-model for every girl-child (to give them something more than one day at work will), I will stop refering to my friend as "the blind girl" and rather call her by her name.
This year I will earn my right to wear those ribbons!!!
the ultimate plan
Last year in January I had a perfect 10-year plan.
Obtain my honors degree in 2010, pass the QE 1(accounting board exam) and begin serving my articles at an audit firm in 2011, qualify as a chartered accountant at the end of 2013...and so on and so forth...the plan was flawless... Until I failed my honors, then I had to start making adjustments and I started to panick because my life would not be going as I had thought it was!!!
This year I have a 10-year plan. And that plan is to walk in the way of God consistently and to follow His purpose for my life no matter what it costs me.
Sometimes what we have envisioned for our lives is not exactly what God has in mind, and we just have to accept that.
When we walk in the will of God we have to trust that whatever happens is part of His purpose for our lives, that in the end we will look back and say "it all makes sense now"
Sometimes following God's plan means letting go of the plan that you had for your own life, giving up your dreams to fulfill the dreams that God has for your life, but the rewards of God's plan are greater than any that you could ever desire for yourself!!!
I am quite certain that at some point in my life I will understand why my honors year didn't go as I had thought it would, and that the character I developed in that year will come in handy in a very important life-defining moment that is so much greater than an honors degree.
I believe that what God has promised for my life, He is able to perform. No matter how long it takes to get there, and what road He uses to get me there, I will get there!!!
His plan is the ultimate plan
Obtain my honors degree in 2010, pass the QE 1(accounting board exam) and begin serving my articles at an audit firm in 2011, qualify as a chartered accountant at the end of 2013...and so on and so forth...the plan was flawless... Until I failed my honors, then I had to start making adjustments and I started to panick because my life would not be going as I had thought it was!!!
This year I have a 10-year plan. And that plan is to walk in the way of God consistently and to follow His purpose for my life no matter what it costs me.
Sometimes what we have envisioned for our lives is not exactly what God has in mind, and we just have to accept that.
When we walk in the will of God we have to trust that whatever happens is part of His purpose for our lives, that in the end we will look back and say "it all makes sense now"
Sometimes following God's plan means letting go of the plan that you had for your own life, giving up your dreams to fulfill the dreams that God has for your life, but the rewards of God's plan are greater than any that you could ever desire for yourself!!!
I am quite certain that at some point in my life I will understand why my honors year didn't go as I had thought it would, and that the character I developed in that year will come in handy in a very important life-defining moment that is so much greater than an honors degree.
I believe that what God has promised for my life, He is able to perform. No matter how long it takes to get there, and what road He uses to get me there, I will get there!!!
His plan is the ultimate plan
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